“Sweet Ermengarde” by H.P. Lovecraft
I think this is the last of Lovecraft’s non-Lovecraftian works I’ll be covering until I get to ‘Ibid.’ I know this is likely an unpopular opinion, but I like “Sweet Ermegarde” better than I liked “A Reminiscence of Dr. Samuel Johnson.” Squire Hardman was my favorite character. I liked that he twirled his mustache and riding crop. Please note that my keyboard is having issues, so this bblog post will bbe short and I am leaving this part unedited so you can see what I mmean. My letters are randomly beiing doubled, as are my spaces and punctuation. Quite an eldritch problem to befall me, I fear. Perhaps Squire Hardman is to blame in some way…
Edit: I got a cheap keyboard at the grocery store on the nearest island. It was marked down like 50% for having a busted up box. I still want a nice Das mechanical keyboard with brown keys though. Those are my absolute favorite to work on. I left my Das on Father Dagon’s island and I can pick it up next time I emerge onto that island, which will be this year or next year.
“Sweet Ermengarde” is underrated and I guess it isn’t included in some compilation of Lovecraft’s works because it isn’t Lovecraftian, but come on. It’s hilarious.
Squire Hardman is a Scooby-Doo villain if I’ve ever seen one. The very catty lines about how Ethyl is a blonde “except when the drugstore is low on supplies” is something that I’d hear on Drag Race. It’s ‘giving’ “Great Gatsby.” We’ve got a rags-to-riches-to-richers story with a heroine whose only redeeming and arguably obvious trait is her ambition. We’ve got some almost Gilded Age drama with a wealthy older woman in the city who is lonely. We’ve got slapstick comedy abounding. This is a good story, this is a funny story, and I am both Ethyl and Hardman at heart. Maybe I’m their long lost daughter.
This story obviously has shades of “Vanity Fair” (the book, not the magazine, but I suppose the magazine as well?) and whenever I reference this to my friends, I say “Squire Hardman twirled his mustache and swung his riding crop at 7200rpm.” 7200rpm is same speed at which Lovecraft is spinning in his grave upon me writing this blog post.
Of course, we also love to see Lovecraft return to his gold grindset. Always gotta have some gold. There’s gold in them that hills, and by hills, I mean the farm and this story.
